MEDIA:
I found both of these top 10 list from David Letterman Funny.... But mostly sad.
Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Celebrated His Re-election
10. Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry.
9. Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills.
8. Thanked voters from all 59 states.
7. Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster.
6. Pretended not to notice his father's envious weeping.
5. Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions.
4. You know, the usual--watching wrasslin' and eating yodels.
3. Immediately started planning his 2008 reelection bid.
2. Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.
1. Asked for Laura's help with a very different bulge under his suit.
p.s. - I think he's happiest about not having to pander to his insane right wing evangelical minions any more! You obeyed and did as you were told.....Good mindless minions (Pat, pat, pat)
Top Ten John Kerry Excuses
10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.
9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.
8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.
7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.
6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."
5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.
4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.
3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.
2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war. (So sad, so true!!!!)
1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.